Chainsman Institute 2006 Bulletins
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February 28 2006
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
I see we're kicking off 2006 with a new reporter taking the tour. A
very brave lady folks. Either that or she has no idea how many of her fellow
journalists never left.
It's time to welcome Dr. PaintChips and Trish to our happy little family
along with Sprocket and Mei Ling.
Rumours abound about more juicy top secret documents including the long
overdue Prank Day report from last year, Phoebe's latest experiments and the
mystery of that burglar they're interrogating.
Plenty of new patients have this new year off to a great start.
Happy 2006 everyone!
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Chainsman Institute 2005 Bulletins
December 24 2005
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Merry Christmas
You've got to hand it to Pheobe. Her latex splicing demos always liven
up a party, plus they're handy for catching intruders. Another blowout party
to wind up a great year.
In other happy holiday news they've dumped that really annoying Kitten
girl into age regression. I'm not sure she ever grew up the first time around
but she'll fit right in. On the subject of other new patients that ninja girl
Sakura makes a pretty ornament spinning in the anti-grav beam and those other
two make make a change from the usual SJ look we give so many patients in
Grimbor Ward.
Merry Christmas everyone! I'll see you in the New Year but right now it's
time to try and corner Ritsuko-senpai under the mistletoe
Maya
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September 30 2005
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY
Hard to believe it was 5 years ago today that we first opened our doors
to the public and let them see what happens behind these walls. This place
sure has grown and changed since those early days. Remember what it used to
be like around here back then? On second thought why settle for remembering?
(Just shut down the machine when you're finished looking around)
Well back here in the present there's been a few things happening. The
bosses finally decided to give everyone the official lowdown on those cute
Interns we've all seen running around the Institute in their green uniforms.
As always it's good to see a few former patients among them, sometimes you'd
almost suspect that none of them are ever rehabilitated and they're all being
held here indefinitely. Funny how many of our "graduated" patients chose to
remain here. I guess the Institute lifestyle really grows on them.
While we might have lost a few patients there's always plenty more to
take their place. Like that psycho terrorist Aeon, the equally violent Jo,
the world's meanest amputee Baiken plus that punk rocker we're trying to scare
straight. What kind of parents name their kid Candy Cane anyway? That's just
asking for trouble.
Meanwhile if you're wondering what to watch out for in the months to
come rumour is that Pheobe's been continuing her latex splicing experiments.
Maybe she'll have more party favours to debut at this year's Halloween party.
Here's hoping.
Anyway I'll see you later as right now I want to get back to the
anniversary party. Gonna be a great weekend, seeya later
Maya
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March 23 2005
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Better late than never the pictures from the Halloween Party have finally
been declassified! You'll recall that was where Pheobe unveiled her Latex
Splicing technique and things have certainly got interesting but a lot weirder
around here since then. Of course outsiders would say this place has been
weird all along.
Speaking of Pheobe it's rumoured there are things she isn't telling us
about her latest invention and also that Nomad's been experimenting again but
if there's any truth to either story it's all been classified.
The new Gold Team's shaping up nicely and here's a hot news flash, they
finally found the missing members of the old team and there could be a feud
brewing between the old-timers and the new hotshots!
The Duck's still lurking around and getting people cooing over how cute
he is but his old owners still prefer to stay in their group therapy room and
sulk rather than greet him. Speaking of patients that wrestler who bet
against Hitomi is still in residence. Dumb move, Reiko!
Well that's about all the time I've got for this bulletin so it's bye
for now and I'll see you around the Institute.
Maya
Chainsman Institute 2004 Bulletins
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December 22 2004
Merry Christmas everyone! I had a great time at the Xmas party and I'm off to
spend the holidays with Ritsuko-dono!
Maya
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November 8 2004
Internal Memo - Physical Therapy Center
Doria,
We just found that picture Nomad took that you wanted for the Gym's
annual report.
Dee Dee
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October 31 2004
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Friday night's Halloween Party was a blast (full report coming soon) and
Dr. ARNie's sure had an extreme image makeover. Remember how shy she used to
be? Always fiddling with her skirt, afraid it had ridden up. Well it sure
looks like she's got over being excessively modest!
So why the big change? Well a hacker friend of mine claimed that
Dr. ARNie's classified biography might have the answer and the logs so it was
updated recently. Even if it doesn't it might be able to tell us the truth
about what Pheobe's really been up to with her new assistant Ivy and why we
don't see walking her around the Institute much these days.
Unfortunately my friend disappeared after telling me she was going after
the classified files and might well be working off a lot of demerits someplace
like the Research Ward. So until she's released it looks like the details
will have to remain top secret unless someone out there has stumbled onto a
way to open the Institute's sealed files.
As if!
Anyway the Holo Arena has just opened for general use and I'm looking to
put a team together to take down the Golds! A long shot you say but why not
aim for the top I've always said.
Other that that we've got a few new patients and longtime Open Ward
resident and former trustee Rei Ayanami screwed up big time and got deported
to Grimbor Ward. A shame really, she was doing so well.
The cause of her fall from grace? A fight with our favourite coffee
mule, Asuka Langely, over a guy. I've always said guys are nothing but
trouble, that's why I'm sticking with Ritsuko-sempai
Maya
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Sept 30 2004
It's the fourth anniversary of us opening our doors to the public.
Pheobe, Ishy and Tasha got a bit too loud & boisterous in singing
the anniversary song so the other staff took measures to quiet them
down a bit. But as you can see it hasn't dampened their enthusiasm
much. Why are they so excited? Well before too long you'll find out
so keep checking in and someday soon you'll see what's new at the
Institute.
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April 23 2004
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
That was one heck of a Prank Day! Too bad the details got classified yet
again. I would love to know the behind the scenes story so if anyone hacks
the mainframe you know what to send me ;)
Speaking of classified while the "you-know-what incident" is going to
remain an official secret at least we get to acknowledge that Nomad exists
instead of passing him off as a remote hover scanner run from the Security
Office.
While we're on the subject of true stories Ishy's file picked up some
wierd data corruption but it's been cleaned up and her real biography is now
online.
Other than that it's been quiet which is no surprise. What could top
Nomad and Prank Day? Oh, except for that spooky goth bird girl who just
got committed. Crow, Rook or something like that.
Also I almost forgot but if any of you gamers out there play "The Sims"
the Gift Shop now has the Institute Resort expansion patch available for free
downloading. Must be some sort of marketing ploy because if you don't own
"The Sims" all you can do is look at the image samples.
Well that's all for this bulletin so it's bye for now.
Maya
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February 20 2004
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Rumour has it that Dr. ARNie's been updating her online diary again but
while it would make interesting reading it's still enrypted and offlimits
unless you find an active secure terminal.
Like that's really going to happen.
But if you happen to find one see what else you can find to check out
about the latest mystery incidents.
The Occult Wing's finally being added to the tour now that they've got
that Ann O'Nymous to run it. BTW I've checked and apparently that really is
her name. Anyway you've got to have security clearance for Grimbor Ward to
reach it but make it that far and it's easy to find.
Ishy's got a new title and jumped from part time staff to full time.
Welcome aboard, Ms. Elven Emulator.
Lots of new patients but fans of the SSX circuit are going to be pissed.
Guess which two former armoured vigilantes have joined Quality Assurance.
That's right, them! Just in time for the last survivor of their old group to
wind up a patient! You've gotta love the irony.
A few new goodies in the giftshop. I'll have to get one of those
posters. Other than that all's quiet except for a revision to that Spires
report in the Library.
Prank Day 2004 is coming, start planning now!
Maya
Chainsman Institute 2003 Bulletins
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November 16 2003
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
I understand a freelance reporter by the name of Sybel will soon be
taking the tour so be sure to give her a warm welcome to the Institute
I hear we're going to be telling her all the sordid details of the
Halloween party. Good thing for those of us who lost out on Harley's game
that there's no way to recognise us.
The hot news is Dr. ARNie's keeping an online journal but it's very hush
hush and for therapeutic use only. I'd never condone violating her privacy
but if you happen to hack into it by accident send me any juicy anecdotes.
Couple of new patients but otherwise it's been all quiet since Halloween.
Until next time.
Maya
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October 31 2003
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Happy Halloween Everyone!
Our Staff Party is off to a great start and looks like it'll be as much fun as
the blowout we had to celebrate Jama's arrival two years back. I thought that
one was going to be hard to top but I'll bet we're going to be talking about
this one for years! Full report in a few days but right now it's time to
mingle and have fun!
See you soon
Maya
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September 30 2003
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
The big news this month is that Dr. ARNie's finally recovered from those
extreme personal life changes and is back on the job. Welcome back Doc, love
the new wardrobe. I'm more than a bit curious what happened but evidentally
all the personal details are classified. Pity, I'll bet it would make great
gossip.
There's rumors from the Quality Assurance gang that they're testing some new
toy that guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. More on that when we get
some more info from them. Anyone up for a bit of abduction and tickle torture
contact me.
That trio of intruders Security grabbed have been sent to the gym to field
test the new Tumbler. It looks like fun and word from Dee Dee is it'll be
open for staff usage before too long.
Other than that there's a new hyperactive patient in the Open Ward who's fun
to watch, a sister act in group therapy and a scary patient in the Isolation
Ward. Almost forgot, there's a new Associate and word is she'll be joining
the QuAt gang. Wonder how she'll fit in.
Guess we'll find out but that's all for now.
Maya Ibuki
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August 09 2003
From the Desk of G.T. Chainsman
Internal Memo
Attention All Personnel
After much consideration and despite the best efforts on both sides to resolve
the areas of conflict it has been decided that the partnership agreement
between the Chainsman Institute and La Clinique La Conciergerie will not be
renewed and the spacial links between us will be severed in 48 hours.
The cross-internship programs at both our institutions have already been
terminated and all personnel have returned. We are concluding the return of
all transfer patients to their original admitting institutions and expect to
complete the process before the end of the business day.
With the exception of the negotiated material that will remain in the sole
possession of the Quality Assurance & Training Division all staff will return
all materials borrowed from La Clinique effective immediately. A 48 hour
grace period has begun in which this material can be turned in to Security
for return with no questions asked and without penalty. Any staff member found
in possession of Clinique equipment after the 48 hour grace period will be
considered to have committed theft and disciplined accordingly. La Clinique
has instituted the same policy with its staff regarding Institute equipment.
It should be noted that the Board of the Chainsman Institute in no way regrets
our association with La Clinique La Conciergerie. It was a valuable experiment
whose data will enhance our own treatment programs. Like my colleagues I
personally have great respect for Professor Simon Wright and consider it
unfortunate that this step was necessary. But for the greater good of both
our institutions it will be best if we both continue to follow our own paths
rather than keep trying to merge conflicting systems together.
Grimbor T Chainsman, Chairman of the Board
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May 5 2003
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Looks like something major happened last month that we weren't told about!
Check out this printout I found in sempai's garbage bin. She really should
have run it through the shredder but Caspar started babbling about the
apocalypse again and she got distracted with the debugging.
Maya Ibuki
PS - Read any further and you'll be in real trouble if "The Rover's" ever
exposed. Last chance to back off!
April 2 2003
To: All Senior Management Personnel
From: Catherine Margrave
Subject: Prank Day Aftermath
ENCRYPTED MESSAGE FOR GOLD LEVEL SECURITY CLEARANCE ONLY
UNAUTHORISED VIEWING WILL BE PUNISHED BY HARSHEST MEANS AVAILABLE
Here's how it's going to go.
So far as the outside world knows nothing unusual happened yesterday. So far
as the rank and file staff know we had a few laughs but now everything's back
to normal. This is vital, all the law enforcement agencies we deal with and
most of our corporate allies have no sense of humour. Those who know of Prank
Day don't appreciate it but they tolerate it so long as it doesn't interfere
with normal operations. None of them want to hear that any serious
complications have resulted from our traditional fun and games. That's the
sort of thing that could cost us their co-operation and losing that would
really screw up our operations.
So officially Grimbor's away at a conference and I'll be filling in for him
until he gets back. Suichiro accompanied him to provide security because of
some threats and Bianca will be running the Golds until he gets back.
Sebastian has departed on one of his outside consulting jobs and Erica's
taking his place until he returns. While we're on the subject of the Occult
Research Dept. if you've got anything Sebastian was supposed to look at then
try and hold off on consulting Erica if it can wait. We want to minimize her
workload so she can focus on undoing yesterday's little miscalculation. All
references to the incident are to be classified and only logged in the sealed
files. As an added precaution we'll also be limiting all contact between
those affected and staff not in the loop to essential services only. With
one exception this should enable us to continue operations without alerting
anyone that things got a bit out of hand on April first.
Here's the exception, since we don't want to raise any suspicions all the
scheduled media tours need to continue as usual so we need a Doctor ARNie to
show them around. If need be I can glamourcast and take his place but since
I've already got to do both Grimbor's and my job I'd like some alternatives.
Android duplicate, shapeshifters, golems or whatever, I want a Doctor ARNie
stand-in up and running ASAP before the next reporter arrives.
C. Margrave - Acting CEO
PS - Even with this mess it was one great Prank Day. I'm already making plans
for next year. Oh and thanks to IT for corrected the problems with that
account I wrote for the library last year.
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March 17 2003
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Is anyone still out there?
Sorry it's been so long since the last issue but between security upgrades and
a couple of leaks (which have been punished as promised) it seemed best to lie
low for awhile.
So what's not old news around here you ask? Well there's the new dynamic
duo in Quality Assurance's Tester Division. Also those gizmos that Associate
funded are now rolling around the Processing center. Last and not least that
nice new Associate Doc Spires just filed a report in the library on our
narrowly averted remake of the St. Valentine's Day massacre.
That'll have to hold you for now. Keep watching. There's more on the way!
Maya Ibuki
Chainsman Institute 2002 Bulletins
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October 30 2002
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
I apologise for the long gap between newsletters but someone anonymously
leaked word to Management via the Patient Request that I was "revealing
classified info". Fortunately I spotted the entry before anyone else read it
and while I couldn't remove it without detection I was able to cover my own
tracks. So the investigation found nothing and the allegation has finally
been dismissed as either a practical joke or malicious intent on the part of
the writer. However that meant I've had to be extra cautious the past few
months which is why you haven't heard from me. Fortunately it's been a slow
couple of business as usual months so you haven't missed much.
So what's new these days? Well there's a new Associate name of Shindig Bingo
hanging around. So that's girl Kid (or Kidd) he brought in but unlike him
she's not going anywhere. Neither is that amnesiac trio dubbed the Diablo
Girls or that pirate wannabe Jenet. I also hear that they've decided Pluto's
not a serious threat anymore and will be downgraded from Isolation to Standard
Security Status.
The big news is that the Delta Tape Buddies passed their trials and have been
approved for field use by the Golds. Once they can manufacture more they'll
begin phasing out the old Beta models. Same as the Mark I Spyders the old
clunky models will be giving way to their sleeker new successors. Sort of a
metaphor for life I guess. I'm not too worried about the Tape Buddies (at
least except for how easier they'll make it for pranksters to wrap someone and
stash them) but I'll miss the old Spyders. The bulbous little guys were cute
while the new versions look a lot more like larger versions of the real thing.
In other words, very creepy!
Maya Ibuki
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Aug. 25 2002
Physical Therapy Departmental Memo
From the Desk of Doria Ruridou
To: Delia Dennis, Diedre Dennis
Remember girls, Tasha's just wrapped up her two months at La Clinique and
after her little farewell gift I want us to be ready to welcome her back with
open arms. So be ready to intercept her at a moment's notice when I give the
word! For her sake she'd better have had a good time in their maid school
because I guarantee she isn't going to enjoy the next couple of days!
Doria
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July 28 2002
Interdepartmental Memo
From the Desk of G.T. Chainsman
A reminder that Ms. Polecat will be unavilable for the next two months while
she is away on her research trip. In case you have forgotten she volunteered
on behalf of the Research & Development division to closely study the patient
processing, treatment and therapy techniques in use at our partner institution
La Clinique La Conciergerie. I'm sure we all hope she has a productive
sabbatical and enjoys her stay at La Clinique. During her absence Ms. Trepe
will be Acting Head of Research and Development.
G.T. Chainsman
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June 30 2002
New patients, a new associate and I'm off to the beach with sempai. What
more do you need to know?
Love Maya-chan
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May 26 2002
Our partner institution La Clinique La Conciergerie has decided to reveal
the secrets of their wildly successful Disciplinary Scholastic Rehabilition
Program for Wayward Young Women. Under the terms of our Exchange Program all
guests of the Chainsman Institute are allowed to take their tour and possibly
participate in the program.
Would you like to take the sidetrip before entering the Institute?
**************************************************************************
April 28 2002
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
The newsletter was delayed for health reasons by I'm doing much better
and thanks for all the sympathy and get well wishes.
The big news this month was another wild prank day on April 1st which
thanks to Ritsuko-sama's inventive use of Beta-latex, metal bracing, foam
padding and a Chinaball, I spent as her office's new armchair. I don't think
she intended to sit on me all day but she hadn't counted on Jama. and the Tape
Boy she had liberated showing up after payback for the Halloween Party. Not
that I minded though spending all day with Ritsuko-sama in her office but it
did mean that we missed all the action. Too bad as from the hints it sounds
as if it was wilder than last year but all the really juicy details wound up
classified again! Someday I'll figure out how to hack past the new firewalls
and find out what really happened but until then your guesses are as good as
mine.
All I know for sure about the day is that Grimbor-dono's new assistant
Catherine (call me "Cat") Margrave got into hot water (well actually body
temperature water) and is muttering about taking vengeance before next year.
Incidentally I hear that there's finally an account of how she went from
patient to employee filed in the library.
Speaking of the library I understand they've finally revised the rules of
employment for potential associates and staff members. They're available
upon request.
In other news by now everyone must now that we've hired the world's
scariest art Gallery curator, Vega Fabio de Cerna to join the staff. So
expect to see him lurking around dark corners and popping up when you think
you're alone. Just try not to scream if he surprises you, it makes the
patients freak and could get you disciplined.
Other than that the Mark II Spyders have finished field trials and are
going into production so expect to see them roaming the hallways. Danny Boy,
as the outside contractor who assisted on the design was unoffically known by
his Delmos fans, did a great job and was named an official associate.
There's new patients in both the Open and Grimbor Wards and that's about
it for the news of the Institute. Until next time stay well and beware of the
Vega.
Maya Ibuki
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March 15 2002
From the Desk of Tasha C. Polecat
Director, Quality Assurance and Training
QuAT Memo
Grim tells me there's a new reporter due for the tour, Lois something,
so we should try and put on a show. We just got a few new toys from
La Clinque that I'd like to test before I go visit so it's time for
Tifa to show us if she's got what it takes as a tester.
Kevin asked me to say we did a great job testing Primal Therapy and
they're already using it on Elena. They figure this one will break
through to her so kudos all round. Also that three way gag I tried
out with Lei and Shermie is being used on some trio of athletes who
just arrived. The other new patients they're just using the tried
and true stuff but thanks to us there's a lot more alternatives
these days.
Remember while I'm gone Quistis is in charge so watch your
step ;)
Tasha
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Feb. 13 2002
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
It's been a busy month here at the Institute with the official
announcement of our partnership with "La Clinique" finally being made public.
For those of you still shying away from taking a look because of you lack
French language skills, don't worry. You'll find they provide a full
translation. In other news our newest associate Jace Draccus provided an
amusing account of a recent incident that's made coffee breaks more enjoyable
for almost everyone.
The Dr.ARNie-Vega collaboration was a welcome addition to the Art Gallery
and everyone agrees Ri Kohran is looking like she'll become a great member of
the medical staff once she's completed her internship.
Everyone's still wondering about the mystery woman in Grimbor Ward,
everyone except the Delmos who are still grousing about Rion getting in there
instead of a dungeon with racks and thumbscrews. Or at least the gym ;)
Fortunately putting Aleximetalia in the Punitive Area cheered most of them up.
Personally I think they're still way too hung up on the Aika thing. For any
of you reading this; it's over and done with and the Hagen siblings were both
really creepy anyway so let it go guys!
Maya Ibuki
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January 15 2002
From the Desk of G.T. Chainsman
To the Attention of all Administrative Personnel
As you may already be aware during the Holiday Season Dr. ARNie began doing
some external consulting work in a field he has not pursued since the
termination of the original Punsaurus Project. While it was initially
intended to be a short term commitment he has discovered just how much he
missed working in this field. Unfortunately he cannot fufill both his full
time commitments to the Institute and his new project which presented a
quandry.
He could have taken a sabbatical as provided for in his contract. While
completely above-board and provided for as a condition of his status that
would have left us having to hire a temporary Chief Administrative Officer
immediately. Fortunately Dr. ARNie has no desire to inconveniance the
Institute any more than is absolutely necessary to fufill his external
commitments so he has opted to exercise the reduced work week clause of his
contract instead. I will be filling in as CAO on the days he is unavailable
as I am sure that I can stagger my own work week to fill in the gaps. Unlike
an outside contracter I already have the necessary procedural knowledge to
maintain regular operations.
This will provide the continuity we need to ensure that all the administrative
functions of the Institute continue to run smoothly. However it will
inevitably mean that we see much less of Dr. ARNie around the Institute in the
immediate future.
Turning to current events this transitional month seems to be going well from
an administrative viewpoint. The expansion of the Quality Assurance and
Training Department has gone smoothly and all the new hires have been
integrated into the Institute's staff without glitches. As have all the
records and evaluations pertaining to the latest patients, Ayane, Helena,
Minerva and Sonia. We are also well underway with our Open Horizons
partnership with La Clinique and should be able to publicly announce it as
planned in February.
Stay the course
signed
Grimbor T. Chainsman, Acting Chief Administrative Officer
Chainsman Institute 2001 Bulletins
****************************************************************************
Dec. 13 2001
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
After all the recent excitement I think we're all glad that so far the Holiday
Season has been quiet. Things have resumed running smoothly and the most
excitement we had all week was when they hung those portraits that Vega
donated in the art gallery.
Other than that Gold Team demonstrated their new acquisitions containment
hardware in a public demonstration. Surprising they weren't on the other
side of the restraints but it seems they're still working off a few demerits
after you know what.
There is one other bit of news. It seems the Boss has been talking about an
exchange program with a european Institution. The plans are still in the
preliminary pages but they're apparently seriously considering the application
by the "Clinique La Conciergerie. Centre de reeducation comportementale
specialise en pathologie metahumaine et paranormale feminine". Quite a
mouthful. Anyway I found one of their flyers if anyone's interested.
If I don't get a chance to update the newsletter again before the New Year,
Merry Christmas everyone!
Maya Ibuki
****************************************************************************
Nov. 25 2001
Technical Services is happy to report all computer systems have been restored
to active status and full access is once again available. We apologise for
any inconveniance
Ritsuko Akagi, Head of Computer Services
****************************************************************************
Nov. 5 2001
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Not to be read if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy
rule will be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
Sorry for the delay in this latest edition of our e-newsletter but we've
been really busy in Tech Services with all the new Security Hardware and
Software Upgrades. We're still not done but at least almost everything
except the really high security material is back online. We should have the
upgrade completed and full access restored later this month. At least we
got the library updated.
Last month was certainly exceptional and we're still dealing with the fallout
but despite the unpleasantness life went on here at the Institute.
Former patient turned intern Dr. Jamadagni Renuka (or Witchy-Poo as she's
more affectionately known) graduated to full Therapist status and officially
joined their ranks. Shortly after that she made quite the splash at the
annual Halloween Party
For those taking their coffee break in the lobby say hi to Melphina, the cute
new patient helping out surly old Asuka.
You have to wonder what is that Devil Hunter in VR Therapy is seeing? She'd
be hard to scare straight so they must be trying something else.
Another of Ranma Saotome's fiancees entered Grimbor Ward. You have to wonder
how such a world class jerk scores so many babes even if they are all nuts.
The "Purples" aka the Quality Assurance and Training Division just got added
to the tour so let's hope they make a good impression. For those keeping
score of the pranking the Purples are still one up on the Blues, Two up on
the Blacks and tied with the Pinks. Still no word on when the Golds will be
back to business as usual.
Rumour says that Lilimon's old buddy Angewomon will be here before too long
but the scuttlebutt also says she's not likely to become part of the Terrarium.
Maya Ibuki
****************************************************************************
I've triple checked and there's no evidence left of yesterdays's disaster for
outsiders to trip over. So in the spirit of getting on with business as usual
here's the new press release - ARNie
Oct 1. '01 Press Release - For Immediate Distribution
On September 30 2001 the Chainsman Institute, the premier institution
for the care and rehabilition of mentally disturbed women in the paranormal
and vigilante communities, celebrated the first year of its Open Door program.
For the past year we have lifted the veil of institutional secrecy that has
clouded the public's perceptions of the nature of residency and therapy in the
modern mental health care facility. In doing so we believe that through our
efforts we have in some small way helped to remove the stigma still attached
to those receiving treatment as patients in institutions such as ours.
The pilot Open Door program was planned to run for one year but it has
been so successful that we have chosen to extend it indefinitely. To those
members of the media interested in taking the tour of the Chainsman Institute
please contact Dr. ARNie, Chief Administrator.
We would also like to announce the addition of Ms. Tasha Polecat to our
staff. Ms. Polecat joins us as the head of the newly formed Quality Assurance
and Training Department and has shown great energy and zeal for her new
position. We expect much from her and don't doubt that our hopes will be
realised
APPROVED FOR RELEASE - Grimbor
****************************************************************************
Sept 30 2001
To: Ani@chainsman.institute.org
Cc: Uni@chainsman.institute.org
Suichi@chainsman.institute.org
From: Grimbor@chainsman.institute.org
Subject: Silence is Golden!
I want a total security lockdown on this fiasco. Not even a whisper of it
gets outside these walls. The cover story we gave the staff should hold for
the time being, it might even buy us a couple of weeks. Unfortunate we have
to lie to our own people but however loyal they are there's no way they can
all act normal if they find out the truth and it's vital we conduct business
as usual!
If you think there was anyone who was there when it all went to hell who
can't keep her mouth shut find some pretext to isolate them until this
is all over!
I want reports from all of you on what went wrong by tomorrow at the latest.
Absolutely no physical documents, everything to be both encrypted and put
under security seal. Nobody without Gold Level Clearance gets a hint they
exist!
Other than that all we can do is wait for her demands.
This was probably the worst anniversary in history but nobody except us
will ever know that.
Grimbor
****************************************************************************
Sept 1 2001
The Rover
"All the news that's fit to be tied"
The Unofficial Voice of the Chainsman Institute
Welcome to the latest edition of our e-newsletter and remember don't read
this if your supervisor's anywhere nearby! Violators of the secrecy rule will
be dropped from the mailing list and severely pranked!
On with the news. There were a lot of new faces this month including sempai's
old friend and co-worker Misato. Thinking back on our days at NERV working
alongside her neither of us was surprised Major Katsuragi wound up getting
committed.
It was a good month for induced infancy as the Age Regression program expanded
plus the long neglected Boing Therapy program got a jumpstart. In addition
we've got a cute new security mecha added to the roster and a cuter robotic
addition to the Rogues Galley. You all know who I'm talking about.
No major incidents so all things considered it was a very good month spoiled
only by the addition of that that Cammy lookalike to the Iso Ward. I don't
mind telling you she gives me the creeps!
Maya Ibuki
*******************************************************************
August 6 2001
To: ARNie@chainsman.institute.org
From: Grimbor@chainsman.institute.org
Subject: Traps
Internal Memo - Not for General Distribution
ARNie,
I've completed declassification on the Humane Capture equipment we
discussed so you won't have to worry about clearance for your guests if you
feel like showing the toys off next time you run one of those tours. Also we
can now let Rie tell that Kuno story next time she gets interviewed.
Changing the topic I'm still hearing rumours someone's running an unofficial
staff newsletter and classified info's being leaked to it. Ani's looking into
it but doesn't have a name yet. My gut instinct tells me we might need to have
a few words with Maya.
Grimbor
********************************************************************
July 2001 News
There's a new classified Brande file but you didn't hear that
from me. Gold Team has an intern and Rie has a new story to tell,
the Age Regression Therapy Program expands, we have a new android,
new patients, new gym equipment and free coffee service has been
added to the Lobby. It's amazing what you can learn from hacking
into the system which I normally wouldn't do but I still think I
was over disciplined for that guestbook crash. Accidents happen.
Just hope they don't find out I'm posting this stuff or it's back
in the doghouse.
Maya Ibuki
********************************************************************
June 2001 News
Due to a series of unfortunate bureaucratic errors by our White
Delmo administrative staff that were not discovered until the last
minute all the senior staff were scheduled for either vacation time or
to attend conferences and conventions during the month of June. Since
it's too late to re-schedule their plans none of them are going to be
available for June with the result that the Institute will be forced
into hiatus for a month.
Day-to-day operations will continue as our nursing and orderly
staff are well qualified to continue caring for the currently
institutionalized patients with designated therapies but no new
patients will be admitted during this period and that very persistent
reporter who has been angling for a tour will have to wait until July.
Human Resources has been informed to delay hiring the new staff
members for a month and Gold Team to continue tracking but to put
acquisition of the recently discovered escapee on hold until further
notice. Punative measures against the Administrative Staff
responsible for this escalating series of errors will also have to
wait until July when the senior staff return and the Disciplinary
Committee can be reconvened.
On the brighter side we can look forward to our senior staff being
well rested and ready to resume work with renewed enthusiasm in July
which we hope will be a big month for the Institute.
G. Chainsman, CEO
********************************************************************
May 2001 News
The beginning of a new fiscal year on April 1 and the usual chaos
surrounding tax time kept the Institute and its Staff preoccupied throughout
the month so the majority of effort was focused on the routine so for the
most part little had changed at the Institute by early May. However things
weren't entirely unchanged as a new staff member was hired and some new
patients were admitted to the Open and Closed Wards. Following the arrival of
a new researcher under our Associates program rumours began about the
existence of a new sealed file but these were quickly quashed by Security.
Dr. ARNie
*****************************************************************************
Updates for April 2001 you won't find listed in the map
Prank Day Chaos
There might also be an update in the Files area that houses the map
but as telling you that would be a security breach you didn't hear it from
me.
Maya Ibuki
*****************************************************************************
Thanks to a donor who wishes to remain anonymous for the time being the
Institute now has a site map which has replaced the update page.
Those who don't want to go through the entire site every update just
need to bookmark the map and look for the NEW indicators.
So now all you have to do is find it. After that you can bookmark it
and return directly to it to find our future updates. With the exception of
new secret files and reporters and other goodies that aren't listed in the
map. So it's a good idea to check here for hints first.
Return to the Entrance