Our weirdest case?
That had to be that lost temple mess. Especially as we didn't go in
expecting to be picking up any patients.
It all started when Doctor Sebastian, our Staff Metaphysician, heard
about this newly discovered ancient temple. According to the archaeologists
who had found it the place was just an empty shell as it had been stripped by
tomb robbers centuries ago and overgrown by the jungle so everything not
stolen had rotted.
Nothing to do with us, right? That's what I'd have said but what Doc.
knew and the rest of us didn't was that the visible temple was a blind. Its
treasures had been decoys to draw attention from the real temple built within
it. He had recognised it from a description in one of those musty old
grimoires on his. The Accursed Hidden Temple of the Bishop of Stahn-Ton was
concealed within that ruin and according to the same text the Bishop had
possessed a few trinkets that would be very useful to his research.
Personally the "Accursed" part would have kept me away but Doc didn't
tell us the full name until we got back. I don't even know if he told it to
the Big Guy when he went to ask for a sabbatical.
What he did tell him was that if his texts were right there could be
some very useful artifacts waiting to be unearthed. Now you have to
understand that Doc's stock has soared ever since he came up with ...
RIE!
Sorry Boss!. I forget a lot of Doctor Sebastian's work is off limits
for discussion until the patents get approved. So we have to be careful we
don't give away our secrets to the competition for free.
Anyway the point is Doc's proved himself a real asset so when he talks
people listen. So the Big Guy called in Doctor ARNie over there and the three
of them sat down to talk things over. I don't know the specifics but the
upshot was that Doc Sebastian didn't have to take a sabbatical to go poking
around the temple. He was going down there with the full support of the
Institute. Which meant the Golds were drafted to provide protection and
give him a hand looting ... removing for study any useful artifacts.
Actually only the original team joined his expedition, they decided to
keep the other new recruits and Gold Leader on standby in case any good targets
of opportunity were spotted during Doc's absence. Also as both Mai and Cammy
had usually worked solo Gold Leader wanted to work on their teamwork. So
Tonyia, Suniya and me got picked for tomb raiding duty with Bianca in charge
of us and her taking orders from the Doc. Having seen "Raiders of the Lost
Ark" I wasn't looking forward to poking around an ancient temple but they
needed me to fly the VTOL so I was stuck. Besides it was kind of like old
times to just have the old team together again.
It took a lot of stealth maneuvers but I got us to the Temple's site
undetected. We scouted out the temple and made sure there weren't any
archaeologists hanging around. It was all clear and Doc lead us over to a
patch of wall by one of these dozen or so statues. It looked like all
the others but he swiveled the arm and it's chest popped open to reveal a
lever. He pulled it and this patch of wall swings open and there's a genuine
secret passageway right in front of us. Doc tells us that this is the western
entrance and it's supposed to be the easiest route but to watch our step. So
we head in and he closes the entrance behind us.
Let me tell you that "Raiders" didn't have half of what we went though!
Trapdoors! Spikes from the ceiling! Giant Spiders! Zombies! Flames!
Rotating knives! Things with Tentacles! Amazingly we all managed to get
through the tunnel without being crushed, skewered, eaten, incinerated,
sliced or sexually assaulted but it was way too close. Even Doc was looking
a bit subdued but he perked up soon as he saw the main chamber. There was
quite a bit of treasure around but all he had eyes for was the altar and he
almost danced up the steps to get there.
As for the rest of us after checking for boobytraps we flopped down to
rest. Everyone was tired and in a rotten mood ... except for Toniya, she'd
got to slice up the zombies with her claws which was the first time she'd been
able to use them in months. So she was pretty chipper but the rest of us
weren't in the the best of moods. It wasn't just the near death experiences,
it was also all the gear we'd had to lug. This being Doc's expedition he had
insisted we bring along these Experimental Shoulder Launched Beta Latex
Applicators. He wanted to see how they'd function outside of laboratory
conditions so we had to lug them along to give them a field test. He figured
after they'd been bounced around through who knows what they'd have had enough
of a workout to test properly. I still don't know if we were going to be
ordered to test them on the wildlife or each other, that wasn't our main
concern at the time. As you might have guessed from the "Shoulder Launched"
part these weren't the lightest things in the world to be carrying while
dodging ancient deathtraps. Ironically while we all resented the gear at the
time Doc's insistence on bringing it was a smarter decision than any of us
could have guessed.
Anyway we've dropped our gear in a big pile and we're taking five but
Doc's almost doing cartwheels as he's found something on the altar. He calls
down that it's the Other Eye of Agamotto, which is a big deal to him but
doesn't mean a thing to the rest of us as we're more concerned over if we've
seen all the traps yet or if there'll be more nasty surprises on the way out.
That's when this door on the other side of the chamber opens and they walk in!
There's three of them (we learn later they went in the eastern secret
passage not long after we started taking the western route) and they don't
look any happier to see us than we are to see them. Glasses is in the lead
and staring up at Doc, Muscles is just generally scowling but it's the third
one we're all watching. She reminds us all of the Pumas but way taller and
spotted. We find out later she's a werecheetah but right then our main
concern isn't her species. It's that after all we just went through to get
there we're not looking for competition now that Doc's found his magical
whatever. We spread out to keep an eye on them (Bianca snags her Beta
Applicator, Suniya's carrying her trusty paste gun and Toniya's got her
claws so I'm the only one unarmed) and they follow suit.
Meanwhile Doc and Glasses have started a loud debate over who the Eye
belongs to and the rest of us are scowling at each other. It's not just the
intrusion that rankles, its the fact they look like they got through their
tunnel a lot easier than us. Which they did as they're used to this sort of
thing. They're professional tomb robbers like Laura whatshername in room 101
and they probably think jogging down trap filled tunnels is a pleasant way to
spend an afternoon. Tempers are flaring so it's a pretty explosive situation.
That's when Doc notices the Cheetah Woman, she's just moved up to stand
beside Glasses while Muscles keeps watching us. I guess Doc's distracted by
all the arguing because he should have known better than to say, "Aren't you
on the acquisitions list?" and that's all the spark it needs.
Suniya's way too tense and figures Doc's just given her an order so she
goes for her paste gun. Now you'll have to take my word for this but Suniya
has a really fast draw. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred it would have
worked but this is the hundredth time and the Cheetah Woman is fast. She
pushes Glasses to the side and bolts before the paste can hit and that's when
it hits the fan.
Muscles starts blazing away with some sort of laser so I head for cover.
The Cheetah's going for Suniya but Toniya blocks her way and it's a claw vs
claw fight. Unfortunately Toniya can't match her speed and strength so she's
obviously going to lose. Meanwhile Bianca and Suniya are returning fire but
there's another player to deal with. Glasses lost her glasses when she was
shoved but she's produced a gun which fires plungers (weird choice in ammo but
more effective than you'd think) and can still see well enough to take out
Suniya's paste gun. So our best shot's disarmed and Bianca's discovering the
Beta Applicators are too short range to hit any of them. We're in a lot of
trouble.
I'm behind a column and I've managed to grab the remaining Beta
Applicators but the range looks too extreme to hit anyone and if I leave my
cover Muscles can pick me off before I get close enough to use them. I see
Toniya go down and the Cheetah dive at Bianca. I figure Suniya's next then
it's my turn! Except we're all forgotten about the Doc and that's a mistake.
The Cheetah's still in midair when these crimson ribbons of light pop
out of nowhere and wrap around her. She stops in midair and thrashes but
she's caught. Up on the altar Doc's holding the glowing Eye and saying,
"Steve wasn't kidding, there really are Crimson Bands of Cyttorak!" Muscles
and Glasses stop shooting and turn to stare at the Cheetah so I move and toss
a Beta dispenser to Suniya as I head for Glasses. Luckily for me her
distraction lasts long enough for me to get close enough to fire a shot of
Beta Latex into her face. She closes her eyes instinctively and they seal
shut so she drops her gun to claw at her face. Muscles sees me and swings my
way looking pissed but the others haven't wasted their chance. Suniya fires
a spray of Beta Latex that clogs Muscles' weapon and Bianca's got close
enough to hit her. Suniya joins in and with Doc keeping the Cheetah out of
action I'm free to finish coating their leader. Just like that it's all over
except the mopping up.
Or so I think but Doc yells at me to dig out the Control Collar I packed
right now and slap it on the Cheetah immediately! I don't know how he knew I
had one, it wasn't an acquisition mission so the only reason I'd packed it
was for a practical joke I was planning. Guess you've got to get up pretty
early to put one over on him.
Anyway the ribbons lowered the Cheetah to ground level so I snapped the
Collar around her neck and switched it on. It's one of the heavy duty field
models rather than the fancier ones we use within the Institute. Which means
durable but primitive as all it does is broadcast "Don't Move!" so I can't
command her but she's paralysed. Which is what we really need as the ribbons
wink out a couple of seconds later. Doc's a little shaky, evidently those
first few spells really take it out on you and if she hadn't been Collared
we'd have had a furious werecheetah to deal with. But she's paralysed while
the Collar's got power so we've bought ourselves all the time we need.
There's not much else to the story. The Cheetah couldn't do much more
than glare at us as we gave her the Beta treatment so we were able to take
time to do a thorough job.
With all three of them coated we could leave them to squirm around the
floor while we catalogued the chamber's contents and Doc decided what was
going with us. It took us awhile but we didn't have any reason to hurry.
Once we were finished loading we came back with a few odds and ends for added
security, got our three latexed guests outfitted and took them back to our
plane. But we did stop long enough for me to ask Doc to get a photo of us
for my album.
I got us back to the Institute and we verified that they were indeed on
the acquisition list but because of the difficulty in locating them (they
traveled a lot) they'd been assigned low priority as it would be too hard to
find them. So we really lucked out and Doc has high hopes for those artifacts
he found so it all worked out for the best.
But I'm still not going into another temple if I can manage to weasel out
of it.
Excuse me? Oh all three are still patients here. Maybe you'll see them
during your tour.