Welcome to the Chainsman Institute 
     A good day to you madame.  I'm Dr ARNie!, the Head of Institutional
Development for the Chainsman Institute and since I've been here since Day One
and know the place top to bottom I'll be your guide for your tour of the
Chainsman Institute.
     No, it's not unusual for me to do this.  My position includes all the
responsibility for public relations and while I could delegate these tours to
one of my assistants I take great pride in the Institute and I always enjoy
showing it off to reporters.  Besides it gets me away from all the paperwork
for awhile.
     Yes, that's correct.  We have never avoided publicity so you're not the
first reporter to take the tour.
     No, I've never seen any articles about us either so while you're not the
first to take the tour you could still be the first to publish.
     You'd have to ask their employers why the articles were never published.
I assure you that you'll find no lack of fascinating material.
     Before we begin I would like to remind you of the confidentiality
agreement you signed.  Under no circustances are you to name any of the
patients even if you recognise them.  I suspect you may see a few familiar
faces but you are required to respect their privacy.  While you're free to
look around and photograph the Institute and its equipment please refrain from
taking pictures of the patients.  Failure to respect this will enact the
penalty clauses specified in the confidentiality agreement.
     Yes, we're quite serious and the contract is legally binding.
     I did suggest you have a lawyer look it over before signing.  If you'd
rather not take the tour ...
     Thank you, I appreciate your understanding.
     Let's get your tour underway.

     The reception desk directly ahead is the first thing visitors and
voluntary patients see as the enter through the main doors.  Behind the desk
you see Janine Melnitz who handles dayshift, our busiest time for arrivals and
guests.
     We're currently standing in the Lobby which you might think of as the
nexus of the Institute.  From here you can access all points in the building
so it's usually a bustling place with Medical and Support Staff passing
though, sometimes alone, sometimes accompanying a patient.  Case in point.



     That Nurse is taking a patient to the Therapy Center.  Since she's
unescorted by any Orderlies she's obviously come from the Open Ward.  If the
the patient is a voluntary or involuntary committal is impossible to guess as
we have uniform rules for patient transport.
     Why?
     Hospitals usually insist on transporting all patients everywhere in
wheelchairs regardless of how well they can walk.  We have similar rules but
with the appropriate variations for our institutional nature.
     Those women in black loitering over there?  Those are the uniforms of the
Orderlies in the Open Ward.  They're carrying "Stun Wands", a symbol of
authority but also a weapon of last resort to compensate for their limited
fighting skills if things get ugly in the Open Ward.  Not they we expect them
to be used very often if at all but there were a couple of incidents that
convinced us they needed some backup.  The weapons deliver a neural shock
causing brief unconsciousness and are coded to the individual Orderly so no
one else can use them. Of course misuse of the wands is punished severely!
The wands aren't used outside the Open Ward, we have more effective tools in
the higher security wards that can be used at a distance but there is no need
for that kind of hardware in the Open Wards.
     Do you have any more questions about the Black Orderlies?
     I supposed they do look a little like they belong on the Enterprise in
the original Star Trek.
     Why do they dress like that?
     Well that's a long story.  But it's easy to explain why they're hanging
around here.
     As this is also the first place visitors and voluntary patients see and
since they often have to wait here we've done our best to ensure that they
aren't bored while they wait.  Which is why we have situated our Art Gallery
in the Lobby.  Would you care to take a closer look?

Tour the Art Gallery

     Would you like to get a cup of coffee?   I see the snack cart is making
its regular rounds.  That's one of the added perks for the staff members
who choose to take their coffee break in the Lobby.  Instead of losing their
whole break lining up in the cafeteria they can enjoy the diversions in here
and take refreshments from the snack cart as it passes.  It does a regular
circuit through here then back to the cafeteria for refills so it's easy to
schedule staff breaks so they won't miss it if they choose to drop by.



     Something wrong?
     Yes, that is a patient pulling the cart.  I imagine the restraints and
the Beta Latex coating were a bit of a giveaway?
     Excuse me?  We are hardly using our patients as beasts of burden!  Doing
this work is part of her overall therapy program.  
     When not in therapy our Ms. Langely, being a low risk patient, is a
resident in our Open Ward.  I won't say she is completely non-violent as she
still has a bad temper but most of her problems stem from overwhelming
arrogance.  Hence this work therapy which places her in a servile position to
our staff whom patients should regard as authority figures.  In time we hope
to instill a respect for authority figures as the first step in teaching her
to respect her peers.
     As a matter of fact we can assess how much her attitude is changing.
Those hair braids she wears are similar to those she wore while a pilot for
the now defunct NERV project.  Biofeedback being crucial to piloting their
... specialised vehicles it was vital for mission control to be able to judge
the moods of their pilots.  Our Dr. Akagi was the one who originally developed
the brainwave monitoring technology and she brought it with her when she
joined the Institute.  So by studying the readouts we don't have to guess at
Ms. Langely's moods, instead we know if her attitude is changing.  Which it
hasn't yet as she's a long way from doing this cheerfully despite the
incentives.
     What incentives?  Well we promised to remove the gag once she's willing
to smile and make pleasant small talk during her rounds.  If we did that at
the moment all we would get is a stream of profanity.  The last thing anyone
wants to hear while unwinding in the gallery.
     Case in point.  See the other patient who's just joined her?


     Melphina's hasn't been assisting Ms. Langely for very long but her modest
attitude meant her gag was removed within a week.  A very positive step as in
her case we're trying to replace her shy and introverted nature with self
confidence and better social skills.  Interacting with the staff is helping to
achieve this and as an added benefit striking up new friendships is reducing
the nostalgia she feels for being part of an outlaw ship's crew.  Actually
crew is a bit of a stretch, component was a more accurate description.  But it
doesn't really matter as that was then and this is now and here and now she's
doing an excellent job of learning to fit in.
     Shall we move on?  There's another display you might like to see.
     Our most popular and permanent Lobby exhibit is the Terrarium.  Aquariums
are common but terrariums are rare and this one is unique.  Take a closer look
at those little figures inside it and you'll see what I mean.



     Oh yes, those little people are very real and very alive.  Of course few
visitors believe that and those who do think that I cooked them up in my
lab like Punsaurus 2.  Actually those are genuine fairies and they were
acquired and donated by our Mr. Tanaka.  But I suppose you'll never believe
that.
     At any rate both Pfil and Pamela are popular with the staff and they're
always being given new toys to play with.  Every break period there's a small
crowd of staff out here sipping coffee and watching our fairies
     Yes, that is a minature dungeon diorama.  Handcrafted by Mr. Chainsman
and I've made my own contribution to their environment.
     Well those aren't their natural skin colours, they're actually wearing
coats of Beta Latex.  Why?  Well they sometimes ... interact with the insects
in the terrarium and those coatings save them from mandible and leg scratches.
Also as you can imagine creatures as rare as these have unique nutritional
requirements.  The built in proboscis contains a supply of the special nectar
they need which we renew weekly.  It provides their bodies exactly the amount
of nutrition they need yet no excess so they don't need to excrete waste.
Which is a real bonus when it comes to keeping their cage clean.  In fact
we're testing a variant of the nectar to see if it could work for humans
though we're still in the early stages of clinical trials.  Returning to the
terrarium the proboscis serves as a gag so they can't devour other foodstuffs
that could have adverse effects on their health.  It's an unfortunate side
effect that their cries are muffled.  Of course it's not as if they could
actually talk.  While they might look human their brains are far too small for
them to actually be intelligent.  It's all just mimicry.
     Of course I'm sure.




     Oh look, they're investigating the latest addition to their environment.
They're obviously puzzled and I suspect they're trying to decide if it's
another fairy or a plant.  As it's got both wings and a flower growing out of
its body I'm not surprised they can't decide what exactly they're dealing
with.  That creature is a biological puzzle, a blend of plant and animal that
would baffle many humans so smaller Fairy minds could never hope to find an
answer.  Think of it as a plant with many animal characteristics including
mobility.  Though we've inhibited that last trait to make her easier to
handle.
     Since she's rooted in place I imagine that eventually their instincts
will have them treating it like a plant.  Fortunately thanks to their Beta
Latex coatings with the built in nectar supplies they won't be biting bits
off to see what it tastes like.  I say fortunately because we've never had a
patient devoured yet and it's not something I'd like on my conscience.
     Yes, I did say patient.  Lilimon's nature made housing her a problem
particularly as there were containment difficulties to consider.  She almost
wound up cryogenically suspended as a frozen vegetable until Dr. Sebastian
came up with a solution.  Since she gains nutrient like a plant through roots
and sunlight if she was immobilised by Beta Latex and planted somewhere she
could receive plenty of light she would thrive.  However she wouldn't stay
like that for long as she generates more power than you'd think possible for a
creature her size and could burn off the Beta coating.  We had to neutralise that
capability and the answer was the collar she's wearing.
     It's locked around her neck to ensure the fairies don't accidentally
remove it while investigating her.  You can't see the energy field with the
naked eye but the collar's a receiver of continual broadcast power that's
being transmitted from a special generator in the Isolation Ward.
     What kind of generator?  If you take the tour through there I'll point it
out to you.  Until you've signed one of the confidentially agreements covering
the Closed Wards I can't say more than that.  At any rate the important point
is that the broadcast power flow neutralises Lilimon's internal energy
generation so she stays fixed place enjoying the light, soil and company of
the terrarrium.  A much pleasanter environment for her than the alternative. 
     You don't believe a word of it?
     Okay, you caught me.  It's just a plant sculpted into that shape with
Beta Latex accessories and it's in there to help keep the fairies curious
and entertained.  I can see I won't put anything over on you.
     Anyway that's about all there is to see in the Lobby.  So where do we go
from here?

I'd recommend starting your tour in the Open Ward



     Of course there are other options

     Would you like to meet the dedicated medical professionals who design and
administer our therapy regime?

     Perhaps you'd rather meet the Support Staff who keep the Institute
running smoothly

     Or meet our Physical Trainers and see the Gym

     You might like to see our student internship program

     We can even arrange an interview with a member of our involuntary
patient acquisition team if you'd like

     Would you like to drop by the lounge where we hold conferences and
staff parties?

     I could give you the scoop on our advances in humane capture technology

     Alternately some visitors have been fascinated by the specifics of our
patient restraint and control equipment

     Others have wanted to hear all about our use of robotics

     Then there are those who were more interested in the human interest angle
of our friendly staff rivalries

     Or of hearing about our Rogues Gallery

     If you insist we could take a look at our underground high security
storage facility



     Finally there is one more option as I'm sure you're well aware.

     I thought as much

     You'd like to see the Grimbor Ward then proceed to the Isolation Ward,
Research Wing and Therapy Center?
     If you're sure I should inform you that while it is permissible to tour
the High Security Involuntary Admittance Wards you will have sign this
Enhanced Confidentiality and Security Agreement first. 
     No, this is a lot more extreme than the one you signed to see the Open 
Wards.  That one made you and your employer liable to a multi million dollar
lawsuit if you breached patient confidentiality.  This one has far more severe
penalty clauses.
     For example please note that any effort to interfere in our therapy
programs or any attempt to assist the patients in their escape attempts is
considered prime facia evidence of insanity and we have the authority to
commit you on the spot.  In short you can look but under no circumstances
touch.
     I realize this prohibition may sound obvious but past experience has
shown that when viewing some of our more unorthodox procedures there are  
visitors who cannot (if you will forgive a small pun) restrain themselves
from interfering.  Which necessitates restraining them.  In the past month
two reporters, a Ms. Vale and a Ms. Starr had to be committed for violating
this agreement while viewing the secure ward.
     You've never heard of either?  First names Vicky and Brenda?
     Still unfamiliar.
     Well it'll be awhile before anyone outside the Institute hears about
them either.  Which is why their articles were never published.
     But I digress I need a definite answer to this question
     Do you still want to see the Grimbor Ward? 



If so sign the Agreement and I'll take you through security


 
Otherwise you may as well consider your tour
of the Chainsman Institute at an end